Bela Lugosi Tours Porgie's House
Bela Lugosi, the cocaine-addicted dead star of 50 dracula movies and one porn flik, toured Porgie Pukeslinger's house, at 351 Dyckman Street, Pigskill, along with Elvira, star of many B-grade soft-core potboilers of the 1950's. Both dead stars expressed amazement at how suited for dead people Porgie's house was. "Gee whiz", expressed the rotting vampire star, " This place looks like the inside of a lot of coffins I've been in!" Meanwhile, Elvira, now over 103 years old, and dead for the last 35 years, was frolicking in part-time semi-wife Pia's gothic bedstead, leaking disgusting corpse juices on the black silk coverlet, and eventually losing an eyeball, which was never found. "I sure hope you guys don't squish my eyeball, if you ever get around to doing the big dirty again" the aged stinking deceased ex-human being quipped. Meantime, Bela, Elvira, Pia, and the old Pork-man stripped down and went skinny-dipping in Porkie's 6 foot-wide, 12 foot long above ground swimming pool (the one that lost him the variance, remember?) The fingers, toes, legs, and other (unmentionable) body parts left behind in the now-fetid stinkwater will serve as a lasting reminder of this lively visit of 2 great dead stars, to the regional center of illegal-alien bashing, Tantric Yoga pretending, jobless website proliferation, delusions of grandeur, insanity, and hate. "Yes", blurted Lugosi, before the rising sun burnt his skin, "Yes, for hate, I always come to Porkie-boy, Satan's biggest ally in the Mexican side of Pigskill." Before leaving, all 4 participated in the now-famous "Yard-Fart" ceremony, which involves activities not describable in a public venue.(but easily smelled from Washington Street). Before getting in his hearse, Mr. Lugosi quipped to Pork-man: "It's better to be friends with the dead, than to have no friends at all !!"
tags: Indian Porgie Point Royce Sherwood Pukeslinger Penstinger Green nuclear butterfly indian point
